divorced kids

I read a blog post on Huff Post Divorce that really resonated with me as a family law attorney. I wanted to share it for those that have not read it. The blog post was about the 5 reminders for divorced moms and dads. Here is the link to the post if you would like to read it in its entirety: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/meerabelle-dey/5-reminders-for-divorced-moms-and-dads_b_7001106.html?utm_hp_ref=divorce&ir=Divorce

From my experience in handling high-conflict divorce cases, I think that Reminder # 4 and Reminder #5 of this blog post are absolutely critical.

Reminder # 4 states, “Don’t disparage the other parent. Be his or her cheerleader.” In a divorce, there are so many emotions running high, especially if there has been an affair or some other bad act. Parents need to try to remember, just because a particular parent may have been a bad spouse, that does not make them a bad parent. Children need to know that even though their parents are separating, they will all always be a family. They need to be reassured that both parents love them dearly. Also, just because, for example, mom is disparaging dad, does not mean that it is okay for dad to disparage mom and vice versa. Your children are truly the innocent ones in the divorce, allow them to be kids and not feel like they have to defend the parent that is being disparaged.

Reminder # 5 states, “Explain to your children that you are getting a divorce but omit the details.” This is also very important. While children might need to get an explanation about possession schedules, selling the house, and other matters that directly affect them, they do not need to know them in great detail. Children need to be reminded that divorce is a grown-up matter, not for kids to worry about.